I have been a very nice person and I am more sensitive towards girls.
Whenever I am in public, I make sure no female ever feels embarassed because of me.
I dont look at them just like that. If i have to interact for asking something, I look straight into eyes and ask plainly and then get away. I understand that females have the right to be free in public and atleast not to feel embarassed because of us. They have the right to be on their own. And I understand the psychological phenomenons happen at all those disturbing times. Come, 'half the world' deserves it surely.
However, being a man, there are times, and there are girls who are very cute, very beautiful that you just cant ignore them and they look that way also. Even in those cases, if I look at them, there's nothing else in mind other than praise for the beautiful face, and I say it to myself that she is beautiful, just so that my thought remains till that point only.
If I look at them, (thats generally for very short instance), I make sure that they or for that matter even the general public doesnt notice that I am "looking at a girl".
If the physical circumstances are such, that I can actually not look at them to see 'His' creation, then I Dont.
I have many female friends, and when I am with them, I try to behave like a protecting man. And at that time, I behave in the manner that I 'expect from other men'.
Somtimes, in public, I see school or college boys, talking and laughing very loudly, sometimes when girls are nearby (they may or may not be using *** language). At that time, it becomes difficult to define the crossing line of decency.On one hand, they have the right to talk and laugh loudly (they may be engaged in their own non-contextual stuff), on another hand, their behaviour is sometimes a consequence of presence of girls. You cannot define, cannot even object.
And ya, peeping in Autos, and even buses is rampant. In Delhi (unlike Bangalore, and Mumbai), the left row) almost 5 seats, in buses are resrved for ladies. And for the 'elements', this side is the favorite, whether they are outside the bus (for looking in while the bus stops), or inside the bus. They have a panache for standing on this side, and even sitting on reserved seats, and causing a row when they are asked to leave seat.
For me, I like to give the seat, but sometimes, u cannot keep giving seat to every girl, specially when they are in large numbers, like in Delhi Metro or a big girls' group, borading from a school or college stop.
Sometimes, in morning buses, I see office going young girls, whose faces (in different makes) depict what they r undergoing. The buses are crowded, half the conductors are insensitive, and they have to pass through dense male crowd. At these times, I surely offer seat to the nearmost female. And one must . Thats least u can do at that time.
I appreciate and also thank God that Mumbai is a safer city, than Delhi, and I have seen women travelling even at 12 in night. This is impossible in Delhi, unless its inevitable. Parents wouldnt simply allow at any cost, unless its the 'elite crowd'.
I am currently working on a plan to start a social business enterprise in Delhi, running on Women Empowerment. Was studying things for the same in Mumbai. I found Mumbai better, for starting the plan, but then, I live in Delhi, so its difficult. I'll surely seek help of BlankNoise whenever I start, for creating awareness among 'my women'. :-)
I often think, that for those men who, being in large numbers in buses (at times there is only a single female, in a crowd of say 20-25 men), think they are at liberty to behave the way they want, should be left in a big crowd of eve-teasing females :-D
Only, then they can realise what the mind undergoes in such situation, and empathise.
One prominent cause for all this, is the lack of sex education in schools. These habits of men are borne when they are in school. Within their peer groups, 'learning' from each other, they start these things while befriending girls (yes, thats true), and innocent girls dont even realise. Nobody puts a brake to them and their habits keep on 'nurturing', and unconsciously take on a anti-social perpective later. If they are taught in school itself, to respect the females, treat them as equals and good friends, I doubt anything like what we see today, should happen.
I remember, once my school principle (lady) had took to fury after some incidences, and gave a lecture in class (class 12). She openly quoted instances of boys indirectly leching at teachers, behind their backs, thru thoughts of gifting them 'clothes', and how boys were indirectly 'touching' girls, with the latter not even realising it. She asked girls to be more careful, and told boys to be ashamed. It caused a huge furore among students. They shared the story immaturely (mostly the boys), with other classes/ sections and even private tutors, all of whom thought of principal as negative and very sexist. What the principle did was right to some extent, but did it with wrong strategy and at wrong place. It could have been an organized sex education session.
But thats how the 'boomers' treat it today. They dont like to deal with this subject openly in front of their 'kids'. However, when they see an extreme situation, they just blurt out (almost explode), and use all kinds of language, without thinking of any psychological consequences (as in the case of principle). Often they even blame the girls themselves (like the college principle, if I am correct).
What we at BNP can do is start a series of Gender education/ sensitisation session (in a very subtle manner) in association with schools, whichever cities we can target. I dont think this job shud be left to school's counsellors and private psychiatrists, who are invited by schools for such sessions. (They charge for this very high.) Probably, we youth can do it much better, and students can get us easily.
Kanpur I just remembered a quote by Aamir Khan in some award function (he did visit) -
God made man and woman. And SHE made them equal.
Nimesh is 23 years of age. lives in India.
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